Not All Sexual Abuse Hurts
7 mins read
For some reason we believe generally that to be good parents, good partners we need to agree on how to parent our children.
To quote Byron Katie in her awesome work – IS THIS TRUE?
Husbands and wives/partners should agree on how to parent their children?
We have heard so much about consistency for children, that we think something is wrong with our family if we have different opinions on how children should be raised or even just different opinions!
So HOW DO WE REACTE WHEN WE BELIEVE THIS THOUGHT? (The Work of Byron Katie)
Often we beat ourselves and our partner up, we think we made a mistake choosing our partner, we made a mistake having children, we think there is something wrong with ourselves or our partner.
We might try to escape by drinking, shopping – any addiction that numbs and spaces us out.
WHO WOULD WE BE WITHOUT THE THOUGHT?
(The Work of Byron Katie) If we could imagine that we never had that thought, for me, disagreements and differences of opinion would just be a part of life. The consistency comes in the acceptance that we are all individuals. We all have a unique way of looking at the world. We all have a specific set off ways we were parented. Without the thought that I should agree I can accept that we don’t and look at how that serves us as a family.
TURN IT AROUND (The Work of Byron Katie)
Husbands and wives/partners should disagree on how to parent their children.
Why would this be a good thing?
- it promotes discussion
- we can learn from each other
- different children need different approaches
- children witness how to manage diversity
- children experience a wider range of options
- partners get to know each other more intimately
- fosters an environment of acceptance and love (regardless of someones opinion)
- both parents feel valued
- children understand that they can express a different opinion and still be ok
You know the interesting point that springs into my mind??? – sometimes I don’t agree with how I parent or how I have parented.
You know what I’m talking about – it’s the moment you do or say something and immediately after you think, “What possessed me to do/say that?”
How can I expect to agree on all things parenting with my partner, when I can’t even agree with myself?
So give yourself a break.
Acknowledge the truth – the reality.
Sometimes we do not agree. That is OK! That is REAL! That is LIFE!
Go easy precious ones!
